Distressing tummy ache & farts

Some farts are not at all sore, some are very much so....some farts are simply innocent and you cannot even smell them, while some smell like pure poison. Some farts are very loud, some very quiet...some can be wet as hell, while some are meaty! And you never know exactly what you're gonna get before it comes out! But man...when you have a lot of gas in there and know you really gotta let it out, you can experience some really powerful, intense tummy ache! That's exactly what I was going through today, while I was trying hard to push out all the farts so I can finally be free again! Oh gosh...this smell poisonous though, now that it's all out! I might have to open a window!