Las medias equivocadas

Is this some kind of a joke? Call yourself a stocking worshipper bought you've bought me a pair that are far, far too small! I am both tall and voluptuous, surely you know this by now? This measly pair of stockings won't even go past my knees, so now I have nothing to wear when I go out AND I have this terrible pair of stockings to work out what to do with, perhaps I'll use them to punish you!