Anthing for the job

I had an interview for the job promotion a few weeks ago and I didn't get it. That's okay. I understand you have to give it to the most qualified person, but I've been here a long time and I was really disappointed I didn't get it. I've heard that you can create a job for someone who is deserving of a promotion, and that's what I want to talk to you about. I thought I could prove to you how much I really, really wanted a promotion. I don't want you thinking I'm promiscuous, but... I want you to know that I'll do absolutely anything to get a promotion... including letting you put me in handcuffs until you think I'm deserving of the promotion.