Bohyně má bosé nohy v kávě a škádlí vás na stole

I poured a two-in-one packet of instant coffee with cream on my feet, wet them with a little of water and smeared it all over my bare, wrinkled feet. I'm sitting on the table with my legs stretched straight towards you. My dirty soles and toes iggling right in front of your face. Instead of an invigorating cup of coffee, you can lick clean my coffee feet. I didn't put any sugar in the coffee, so my soles may be concentratedly bitter, but if you like coffee without sugar, they'll taste perfect. However, you will need a lot of saliva to lick all these freeze-dried coffee off my feet. The only thing missing for a perfect breakfast is a burger crushed by my feet. What do you think of this breakfast idea?