Diagnosis: Microphallus Syndrome - Prognosis: Chronic Virginity

Ah, what do we have here? Another specimen with the classic case of 'Insignificant Endowment Disorder,' an ailment more commonly known as the tiny, useless dick syndrome. It's almost fascinating, from a clinical perspective, how nature can be so... ungenerous. The prognosis, unfortunately, is rather grim. You're destined to a life of chronic virginity, an unending saga of sexual rejection and frustration. Each attempt at intimacy will be a stark reminder of your inherent inadequacy. It's a psychological burden as much as it is a physical one, a perpetual shadow that darkens your every encounter. Let's face it, the reality is as stark and... as the clinical coldness of these examination room walls. Your condition, my dear patient, is not just a physical shortfall but a lifelong sentence to the sidelines of sexual gratification. In a world where size does matter, you, unfortunately, fall devastatingly short.